Hi, I’m Professor Felix Schwartz

Hi, I'm fictional character Professor Felix Schwartz...
Hi, I’m fictional character Professor Felix Schwartz…
“Hi, I’m Professor Felix Schwartz.  The year was 2020 when I – your typical, garden variety, liberal college professor – stepped out in front of a Mack truck and my lights went out. Thirty years pass by, all the while I was nothing more than a walking vegetable and ward of the state.
By 2050 the country had apparently gone through some changes thanks to a dramatic shift in the makeup in the country’s populace giving liberals (referred to by the author as: assclowns, moonbats, goofnads, or asshats) control over Washington. In that thirty years the country supposedly became the veritable paradise I had long dreamed of creating, but something went wrong along the way!”
“So far, what I’ve seen of the country resembles more a third-world, banana republic and, damn-it be all, English has been replaced by gibberish!  Also, I’ve witnessed a riot in one of the biggest trailer parks I have ever seen, cornfields for as far as the eye can see, sparklers on wheels (lowriders) and I accidentally ate some flies for breakfast.  I’ve since changed from a hospital gown I was wearing when I woke up to a girl’s tennis outfit and am in search of civilization…”
“…so far, I have not found it!”

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